It may be my age or stage of life or that I have been planning weddings for a long time, but I have come across many second weddings as of late, my own being one of them just over a year ago. Second time around weddings are so wonderful for many reasons. Usually the couple is older and really know what they want and what they don’t want. It is so wonderful when people who have either been divorced or widowed find someone to whom they want to commit and then share their joy with family and friends. All this being said, blending two families together for a wedding (never mind a lifetime) can be challenging. What if your children want to walk with you down the aisle and his have too many mixed emotions to do the same? You had a big, lavish wedding the first time, and he had a few immediate family members present, now what?
Weddings mark the beginning of a lifetime of new memories. You are making a statement to each other, your families and the world that you are a team. And that extends to your children. As wedding planners, we are accustomed to accommodating all the variables. For example, in a Jewish wedding ceremony it is traditional for the immediate family to stand under the chuppah with the couple. (The chuppah is a cloth or roof held by four poles.) One bride and groom wanted to make the children feel a part of the ceremony and connected to each other; each of their four children stood representing each of the four poles and the “roof” was suspended from the ceiling.
One couple decided to have their second wedding at the home they had bought together that they would share with all of their children. This way they were saying that this is “our” home and we want to start making memories here. Another couple decided to have a more intimate wedding with just the immediate family and the closest friends. This way, the kids felt like they could just be themselves with all of the different emotions they were experiencing. No one needed to worry about a crowd of people, many of whom they didn’t know from the “other” side.
Having had the experience myself, I feel that the process of planning a second, even more so than a first, will do more than set the tone for your celebration, but will also signal to your families the way you envision your lives together. At Jodi Raphael Events, we can help you work through all of your wedding details as well as the many unique facets of what is a joyous, yet often complicated, time. Call or email us today.